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Flames of Flatulence
There is semi-unneccessary gore in this fanfiction. You've been warned. Quick note: This is set in a different universe than The Blood Moon, so Record's timeline has been changed to suit the storyline. Oh, and this does happen fifty years in the future. This fanfiction was written by Flicker the Overseer. The following users have given me permission to use their OCs in this story: Citric - Me Record - ScrollReaderTheTribird Whitecap - Animal56 Ballyhoo - LunaTFoxy Universemaker - ScrollReaderTheTribird Alexandrite - AuroraTheSilkwingQueen Prince Seafoam - BlujayWrites Conscience - Me "Lord" English - HeyHowyaDoin Dust - BlujayWrites Raven - Glacieroftheicewings5612 Freezerburn - Glacieroftheicewings5612 IceWinghater/Smokebreath - MorphoTheRainWing If you would like to make/submit a character for this story, put it here. Prologue Fifty-three years ago, three years before The Dragonet Prophecy... Record crawled up to the dragonets. His head was frozen in place and jerking around at the same time. His whole second tail was now in rainbow pixels. "Ha, hka-h-h-a-hi-ha...hel-lo li-i-ittle one-s," he said. "Wh-who wants to ha-ave some fuuun with Re-re-re-re-re-" He was frozen in place, glitching and jerking. He popped out of sight for a moment and reappeared. "Rrrrd?" He continued. The dragonets cried and screamed. Then the middle of Record's chest started to glitch and he fell over. A spear stuck out from his back. "I'm the only one here who's going to terrify children," said the newcomer, in a perfectly creepy smooth-soft-rasping voice. She was a black-and-very-dark-blue NightWing. That was the last thing those dragonets ever saw. Chapter 1 HISS-BOOM! Citric was thrown into a tree. "Ow..." the 13-year-old RainWing said, changing the flashes of white going across his body from the pain to blue. His robotic arm started acting up again. The skeletal fingers on it stuck out at odd angles and rapidly changed position while the thumb and fourth segment started spinning around. He got up and hopped back to the remains of the table on three legs. The explosion had thrown burning charcoal and semi-molten metal all over the place. He took his fire extinguisher out and sprayed everything with it. He sighed. He was so close to getting this right. He had already built a system with limited improvisation abilities to auto-fix his arm, so why couldn't he create a true artificial intelligence? The most obvious reasons were: # That was what he had been working on, and it had just exploded. # Doing such a thing is very, very hard. A few bits of wood had survived, and a melted and solidified clump of metal was in the middle. Citric sighed again. He could fix this later, though, because a more pressing matter needed his attention. He opened a panel on his robotic arm and pressed the auto-fix button. The arm slowly stopped malfunctioning. He stretched out its fingers and walked to his main clearing. He had cleared out a bit of forest into seven clearings for his home. One was where visitors arrived in, one was for sleeping in, one was for relaxing, and the last four were for inventing. At the moment, he had to clear the first and third of leaves for visitors. As he walked back, he saw they had already arrived. He checked his watch and realized he was late. He said to his visitors, flashing purple, then going to brown, "I'm so sorry, I lost track of-" Granite cut him off. "That's perfectly fine," he said. Citric looked at the visitors. Granite the MudWing, Jetstream the SkyWing-IceWing, Pluto the NightWing, and a MudWing he didn't know looked back. Granite brought the other MudWing up to Citric and said, "Flamingo, this is Citric. Citric, this is Flamingo. Flamingo is my fiancé." Citric asked, "Which talon do you want me to use to shake yours?" Flamingo replied, "Granite told me you would say that. Actually, he bet money on it. Your right one." They shook a real talon and a robotic one. "Anyone care for refreshments?" asked Citric. The visitors agreed. "Alright, one minute," said Citric. He disappeared for exacty sixty seconds. He got five glasses, a few lemons, some water, some sugar, washed his hands, and made some lemonade. "Fresh, talon-made lemonade," he said. "Follow me." He walked into a different clearing. This one had several tables, wooden chairs, and vine hammocks. He put the pitcher and cups on the center table very deftly and poured lemonade into each glass. Each dragon took one and drank. Something like an alarm clock sounded. Citric face-taoned himself and said, "Sorry. I've gotta go." He zipped back to a clearing with a heating coil in it. He used big tweezers to shape the glass above it, then shut it off. He waited for a few minutes while it cooled off. He then took the pair of glasses off and put the iridium wire on over his horns. Everything became sharper in his vision immediately. And this is how normal dragons see? Wow, I've missed out, Citric thought. He walked back to the other clearing. But everyone was- Gone. Chapter 2 "Hey!" Citric shouted. "Anyone here?" This must be a joke. This must be a joke. This must be a joke. Nobody answered. He saw something red in the corner of his vision, something that he wouldn't have seen without his new glasses. That was not the red of Jetstream. That was the red of blood. Citric slowly made his way over. There, he saw his friends, covered in blood. He could clearly see how they died. Granite, flayed alive. Pluto, having her skull smashed. Flamingo, disemboweled. Jetstream, having been stabbed through the chest with a spear. Citric nearly threw up. Then, a weak voice said, "Do you find it ironic that a dragon named Pluto was killed?" Citric's head snapped around. Where did that voice just come from? "Over here," the voice said. One of Jetstream's arms went up a bit. Oh, that makes sense. Jetstream had the oddest sense of humor. "You're still alive?" asked Citric, rushing over. "Yes," said Jetstream. "Missed my vital organs and big blood vessels. Could you help me up?" Citric helped him onto his back feet, supporting him. Jetstream's talon went near the spear. Citric said, "Stop. It's never a good idea to remove something like that until we get to the healers." "OK," Jetstream said. "Make it quick, though." Citric hobbled onto the path from the RainWing village from his house. "Hey," said Jetstream. "It was the creepiest dragon EVER that attacked us." "Not now," said Citric. "Aw, come on," he said. He brought Jetstream, both of them groaning, for different reasons, to the healers' building. At this point, Citric was red with annoyance, and, having realized this, turned to black. Citric brought Jetstream in. A few healers, mostly RainWings, were working in the place. The only NightWing, with dark purple scales and teardrop scales, gasped and came over to them. She took Jetstream from Citric and told the other healers to put the curtain up. One of them drew the curtain across the room. "It's a miracle he's still alive," the healer said as she sat him up. Citric was distracted for a moment, but then came back to reality. He replied, "Well, the spear didn't hit any of his vital organs, spinal cord, or major arteries or veins." "Alright, smarty-tails, would you like to be the healer?" she asked. Two rings of red came out from around his eyes and over his body. He stepped back and let her work. Though he tried to focus on the interesting flowers outside, or the strange chemicals that the healer used, his attention just kept going back to the NightWing. He tried to start a conversation. "So, what's your name?" asked Citric. "I'm Cosmos," she said, as she injected something into Jetstream's chest. "What's yours and his?" Citric said, "I'm Citric, and this is Jetstream." "Okay," she said to Citric. To Jetstream she said, "Brace yourself, this could hurt." She pulled the spear out with one jerk. "OW!!!" yelled Jetstream. Blood pooled out onto the wood under him. "I'm going to give you something to set you to sleep," she said as she started to bandage the wound on both sides. "Could I have a word with Citric first?" he asked. "Of course," Cosmos said. She walked outside and over a bridge. Jetstream got up with a wince. He ushered Citric into a different room. "You like her, don't you?" he asked. Citric briefly turned light pink, then back to yellow. "No..." he said. "Has anyone told you that you're a horrible liar?" asked Jetstream. "All right! Fine! I admit it!" Citric said loudly. "Why don't you tell her?" asked Jetstream. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!" shouted Citric. Pale green and red danced around his scales. "Actually, let me tell you about who attacked us. It was a super tall and thin NightWing with golden claws and horns, black saliva, a whole galaxy on ther wings, and a spear made of bone at the end of her tail. And the creepiest thing was, her eyes were pure white." "I'm going to leave." Citric walked out and said to Cosmos, "We're done." Cosmos walked back, and Citric saw as she noticed the moonstone on the shelf. She looked confused for a bit, but picked it up and put it in one of her pouches. As Citric left, he opened up a panel of his robotic arm, looking at the two moonstones he had left. There are other ways. Chapter 3 He walked back to the clearing. He needed to give his friends a proper burial. He trudged back to where his dead friends laid, but then an arm grabbed him and pinned him down. A NightWing at least three times his size was on top of him. She fitted Jetstream's description almost perfectly. There were a few things about her that Jetstream failed to mention, though. Citric turned yellow, then quickly red, dark red, then black. Her dark-dark-dark-blue and purple scales were very shiny, a few of her teeth were gold-colored, her underscales were gold-colored, one of her wings was smaller than the other, and on her wing membranes, as oppose to a galaxy, it was more like the center of one, with a black hole and several nebula and a great many stars. Despite all of this, she kind of looked like... Citric said, "Is it the wrong time to say this, but you kind of look like-" "Cosmos?" the other dragon replied in a growl. "Of course, I'm her grandmother." Citric turned radioactive green. The NightWing started to laugh. "This is hilarious!" she yelled. "Tell you what, instead of killing you, I'll watch you go crazy." The NightWing's laugh turned into a cackle. She touched Citric's head, and it felt like his brain was being torn apart. "I was given the name Universemaker for a reason," she said, far away now. Everything was getting farther away. No, they were getting closer. No, they were staying in the same place. And yet they weren't the same. Wait, was that branch falling UP? And- Citric awoke in a clearing. Whew, so it was just a nightmare. But it was noon. Wait, this wasn't even HIS clearing! It wasn't even a clearing at all. He was in a grassland. He looked up and saw another grassland, upside down, above him, on a sphere that was SUPER HUGE. He the sun as well. He walked a bit, staring like: �� at the huge planetoid suspended in the sky. He then looked down to see that he was walking on water that was sand as well, and saw a cactus that was coral as well poking out in the distance. The grassland was gone, but the planetoid wasn't. An orange SeaWing that looked about three popped up out of the sand that was water as well. He said, "A mirage is a funny thing..." Citric shouted, turning pale green, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" The SeaWing bit his lips (or the dragon equivalent) and said, "First, let's introduce ourselves. I'm Prince Seafoam." "I'm Citric," Citric said. He put out his robotic arm, then took it back and looked at his talons. Seafoam shrugged. "You're a victim of Universmaker's magic, am I right?" Citric simply replied, turning his scales to pink, purple, and red, "Yes." Seafoam said, "So..." Korg from Thor: Ragnarok just appeared out of nowhere. He said, "Nothing here makes sense. The only thing that does make sense is that nothing makes sense." He then disappeared somehow. Seafoam flicked his tail at the place where Korg was. Seafoam said, "Yeah, what he said." "Anyway," Seafoam continued, "Do you want to go to where I'm staying?" "Sure. Do I have any other choices?" "Alright. Follow me." (Did I mention that I use the word alright too much?) Citric complied. Seafoam swam and Citric walked (he still couldn't get used to it) until they came to a little stone building decorated with coral. "This is where I'm living so far, with my...associate," Seafoam said. Just then, a crazy laugh came out from the building. "I'm reluctant to call her a friend, and you can see why." They went in. A teal SeaWing that looked perfectly ordinary was sitting there, laughing. She stopped laughing as soon as they came in and said, "Seafoam, your fish looks rancid. Who's the reindeer?" "This is Citric," Seafoam said. The SeaWing said, "My overused item is Ballyhoo." Citric was confused. Seafoam whispered to him, "She's saying her name is Ballyhoo. Just ignore her unless she goes up to you. She's weird." Ballyhoo just sat, staring into space. They turned to another room. A green, blue, and white dragon was there, with IceWing spikes and SeaWing gills and bioluminescent scales, obviously a hybrid, sat at another table, eating a tiny squid. She looked up, mumbled through her squid, swallowed, and said in a low show voice, "Hello. I'm Whitecap, the leader around here. What's your name?" Citric had two options, really. He could: # State his name, then say something snarky abut how Seafoam seemed to be more of a leader than her. # State his name. As he thought this in a fraction of a second, his scales briefly bacame an iota more yellow. He decided to do something else. Citric chuckled. He said, "What's with the fake voice? And why are you even trying after when I came in? It's hilarous." Whitecap became visibly annoyed. She said, "I am TRYING to be DIGNIFIED, not that SOME DRAGONS would know what that means." Citric replied, "Obviously not, because what you were doing was nowhere NEAR being dignified." Seafoam yelled to Ballyhoo, "Citric and Whitecap are having a roast fight!" Whitecap said to Citric, "Really? You're no one to judge that." "Really?" Citric asked. "Let's see what I have supporting me. 1: I'm much smarter than you. Can you build a robotic arm?" Just then, a thin stream of smoke came out from his arm. He quickly pressed the auto-fix button and went on. "2: You don't even know me, so the fact that you assumed that I can't judge you proves that you're so dumb, I wouldn't even have to roast you to win this fight." Ballyhoo oooh''ed into her talons. "Well, you're so ugly, when you hatched, your arm saw your face and fell off." The room quickly fell silent. Citric said menacingly, turning red, baring his teeth a bit, "That is one step too far. I'm fine with some friendly trash-talk, but I am NOT going to let you make fun of my robotic arm." Whitecap's eyes shot from Citric's eyes to his fangs. "Alright. Sorry," she said, backing up. Citric held himself high and marched out of that room. He could hear Whitecap growling behind him. Seafoam caught up to him. The prince said, "I've never seen Whitecap back down from a fight before. That was impressive." "Thanks," Citric replied. "Hey, do you want to see my coral collection?" asked Seafoam. This was still going to have to take some getting used to, though. Chapter 4 Citric had had a whole day to ponder what happened. He decided that he needed to go look at this world to figure it out. He wrote a note that said, ''I'm going out. I'll be back soon. He wrote "soon" because he didn't know if he was going to be back in a few minutes or a few days. He walked out- and promptly fell into the sea that was also a desert. Great. Well, at least his robotic arm was waterproof. Citric climbed to the top of the building and lauched himself off, gaining enough velocity to take flight. The sea-desert went on for a while, and then he reached some mountains that he somehow didn't see on the horizon before. Beyond the mountains was taiga. He looked up, and the sky was filled with stars. Uhh...wasn't it noon, like, three minutes ago? It actually was. But by now I think that you can deduce that he's in a universe where nothing makes sense. Citric suddenly got very tired and decided t take a rest. He lazily glided down to a mountaintop, but before he could land, a positively huge NightWing flung a buch of snow off of him and yelled, "You will bow to the great Dankstooky!" Citric had the look of total: �� on his face. He decided that that dragon was probobly even more crazy than Ballyhoo and wheeled off in a different direction. Citric dove down into a cave and skidded to a stop. Or rather, he would have skidded to a stop if he hadn't crashed into a pink-and-purple dragon near the end of the skid. His arm stared malfuctioning again, this time emmiting very loud noises while the fourth section twisted in small jerks. Bits of white and red jumped across his scales. "Hey! Watch it!" said the dragon he crashed into. Citric jumped back and fell over on his back onto some rocks. The dragon he crashed into looked at him. She was a mostly purple-ish IceWing-looking dragon, but her proportions said otherwise. A necklace with a moonstone charm/pendant on it was caught in her horns. She looked about his age. She took the necklace and put it back around her neck. "Would it kill you to look where you're going?" she asked. "No, 'Hello, it's nice to meet you, my name is blank, what's your name?' Although, honestly, from the outside, this cave looked empty, and it's pretty dark in here." Citric said. He was truning mint green, but then he turned back to blue. The other dragon looked at him like: Seriously? "Alright, fine. Sorry. Now can we start over?" asked Citric. "My name's Citric, what's yours?" The dragon gave him a dirty look but said, "My name's Alexandrite." "Should I go to another cave?" asked Citric. "I would have been just fine, had you not crashed into me, so, if you want to." "Oh, okay." Citric went to near where he came in, lied down and fell asleep. Later... Citric woke up. Where was he again? Oh, yeah, in some random cave in an alternate universe where nothing makes sense. Perfectly logical. He yawned, his eyes hurting in the morning for the second time in a row. He thought that had something to do with that he forgot to take his new glasses off. He got up, and saw Alexandrite already getting ready to fly. Citric said, "Oh, hi." and yawned again. Alexandrite said, "Good morning, slowpoke. You should get up so we can leave. Dankstooky and Lord English can be very annoying." Citric stretched and said, "Give me some time, would you? I'm not a morning person." "Ah, the spikes are up. Want to race?" Alexandrite asked. "What?" Citric said, only half paying attention. He slowly walked to the entrance. The ground between the mountains and the taiga was now filled with rock spikes that stuck out of the ground at various angles. Fear snapped him back to reality. "You want to race through THAT?!" "Of course. Or are you chicken?" "I would hardly call having an assortment of perfectly good reasons why I shouldn't being chicken." "Oh, really?" "First, if you make a mistake, you could easily hit a spike. Second, there are lots more turns and spikes than there looks like. Third, a rock formation like that is unstable and could break at any moment. Fourth, if you get tired in that, you could fall. Fifth, my arm could malfunction, and I could fall. Sixth, with the..." Words failed him. He settled on, "...Illogical nature of this place could cause those spikes to attack us, for all I know." Alexandrite said, "All of those, besides your arm, are reasns why it's more fun." "No, thanks." Citric walked out of the cave. He could deal with daredevils like Alexandrite, but the fundamental nature of this place was something he couldn't wrap his head around. The more he tried to make sense of what was happening, the more it didn't fit. He walked around the spikes. He could see Alexandrite flying through them. Suddenly, they morphed into (for the most part) upside-down icicles tht immediately melted. He wasn't crazy like everyone else here! Whenever he tried to use logic to figure out this illogical universe, it tried to use illogical events to break his logical mind. And the instant he realized this, the rock spikes reformed. At this point, Citric was just mad. "Hey." Citric turned around. The owner of the voice, a dragon-shaped being composed of dark blue light, was standing there. "It seems like your using your head a bit too much." "Who are you?" Citric asked. The being seemed to think. "You can call me Conscience," it said. "How did you get here?" "I formed here a few seconds ago. Don't be shy with your questions, you've already answered at least a hundred of mine." "Are you reading my mind?" "Sort of. I am mind." Citric was confused. This statement made no sense. "Maybe I should open myself up," said Conscience. Citric suddenly was on the highway that was the intangible side of Conscience. Dozens of thoughts were streaming through Citric's mind, but suddenly everything made sense, and he felt at peace, like he was on a mountaintop and the wind was breathing over his scales. He was eased back into reality slowly, and the aftereffects slowly subsided. "Does that clear things up?" asked Conscience. "Yes," Citric said. He now knew what Conscience knew about itself and this universe (which Conscience called the CRAZY UNIVERSE!), which was more than Citric knew, to say the least. "There's Alexandrite," Conscience said, pointing at where, indeed, Alexandrite was landing. "I'll be leaving now." Conscience somehow disappeared. Alexandrite walked over. "What's taking you so long?" she asked. Citric asked, "Would you believe that I just met the embodiment of mind, formed from my attempts to assign structure to this chaotic world?" Alexandrite simply replied, "Yes." "Ah, there you are," said an old, shaky voice. Alexandrite and Citric turned around to see a big dark-dark-olive green dragon with red streaks on him. Alexandrite said, "Hello, Lord English." Chapter 5 WIPCategory:Fanfictions Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete) Category:Content (Flicker the Overseer) Category:Genre (Comedy) Category:Alternate Universes Category:Collaborations